August 22, 2014

loveandddrevenge:

vaguelyjewish:

testoster0ne:

how do woman not orgasm when inserting tampons.

like isn’t just like having sex idgi?

This sounds like a Mitt Romney diary entry.

Just. Like. Having. Sex.

Four hundred and sixty thousand notes, a few comments, some of which are explanatory, many of those referring to the girth of a tampon vs that of a penis.

At first (quick) glance, I see a lot of mockery and condescension and suggestions that “my knowledge of the female body is superior,” but I can’t see that it’s occurred to anyone to mention the clitoris or the many shades, nuances, and subtleties of women’s sexuality. 

What the hell is this, people? The Freudian 1940s? Has no one been watching “Masters of Sex”? If penis size is all that occurs to you, then I’m sorry to say you don’t get it that much better than the original poster. 

— From NYC. 

(Source: basedyeeezus, via aimee-b-loved)

August 21, 2014

Deconstructing Masculinity & Manhood with Michael Kimmel @ Dartmouth College

Boom. 

— From NYC.

(Source: exgynocraticgrrl, via lindstifa)

August 18, 2014
juliadmason:

Rediscovered this amazing gift from our good friend Ditte. She clearly needs to become an illustrator. I tried to sketch the Washington Square Park fountain yesterday. It looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

My friend Julia’s now blogging on Tumblr. Her posts are full of whimsy and wonder. You should take a look.
— From NYC.

juliadmason:

Rediscovered this amazing gift from our good friend Ditte. She clearly needs to become an illustrator. I tried to sketch the Washington Square Park fountain yesterday. It looked like the Flying Spaghetti Monster. 

My friend Julia’s now blogging on Tumblr. Her posts are full of whimsy and wonder. You should take a look.

— From NYC.

August 18, 2014
humansofnewyork:

"I have a one-and-a-half year old daughter at home. There are two things that we do every day. When I get home from work in the evening, she runs to me, and asks me to buy her a sausage. And every morning when she wakes up— at exactly 5:30 AM — she needs to go to the bathroom, and she screams for me to bring her the pot. She never screams for Mom. Just for me. How this became my job, I don’t know." (Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo)

Parenthood: a universal experience. 
— From NYC.
(Emphasis mine.)

humansofnewyork:

"I have a one-and-a-half year old daughter at home. There are two things that we do every day. When I get home from work in the evening, she runs to me, and asks me to buy her a sausage. And every morning when she wakes up— at exactly 5:30 AM — she needs to go to the bathroom, and she screams for me to bring her the pot. She never screams for Mom. Just for me. How this became my job, I don’t know.
(Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo)

Parenthood: a universal experience. 

— From NYC.

(Emphasis mine.)

August 12, 2014
In All Honesty

I’ve been intrigued by pregnancy since adolescence. There were recurrent dreams of being pregnant and giving birth (once in the middle of a huge football stadium filled with spectators). In class, I doodled pregnant bodies, nude or clad in flowing dresses, the better to emphasise the breasts, hips and tummies of my figures.

It seemed so utterly mysterious, the way bodies expanded to make space for something that had just begun to exist. I watched with admiration women who refused to let themselves go during that time, women who insisted on being women first, and not just walking incubators. Ladies who could think and talk about things other than their impending motherhood, who made a point of remaining stylish, of not, you know, losing themselves. It didn’t seem exactly effortless, but it appeared to be an ideal to strive for.

So when my turn came, I welcomed it with a sense of pragmatic curiosity. It felt like experimenting on myself. With some anticipation, I set out to observe how my body and I reacted to these changes. 

The first thing that became blindingly obvious is that no two pregnancies are alike. From symptoms and their intensity to how we each react to them, I felt, in my gut, that there really is no point in comparing ourselves to each other. This made my life easy: right then and there, I lost interest in all the (psychotic) forums online. Inappropriate advice, off-colour comments and horror-stories-as-proof-that-I-have-no-idea-what’s-coming have yet to affect me (though I love them for sharing a laugh with Jason). 

The second thing I established, instantly and without a doubt, is how profoundly unnatural this pregnancy feels. For better or worse, I am experiencing it like a merciless colonisation of my body, and have from the very start.

It’s not that the symptoms are particularly bothersome. I did get my share of nausea and vomiting in the first trimester (I still do, though much more seldom now), but nothing like my friend, who couldn’t even watch television without puking. I’ve considerably slowed down, yes. I get dizzy, out of breath, I have ligament aches, sciatica, mild contractions, heartburn has started and threatens to worsen. Still, by and large my body has soldiered on in ways I find, erm, shocking.

It’s me, you see. I’m the one who has a problem with it. I don’t like the way my tummy’s growing, which is fast and furious. I thought I’d be able to exercise, but I can’t go more than 15 minutes without putting myself in some form of physical distress. Four months in, I had to climb the steps one by one with breaks in between, lest I faint the minute I walk through the door (which nearly happened twice, forcing Jason to carry me to the sofa).

Then there’s the peripheral stuff: a friend of a friend said her desire for alcohol vanished the moment her pregnancy began. Well, good for her, but I can’t lie: I rolled my eyes and wondered what sugar pill she’s on. I miss wine. I miss cocktails. I miss sushi and medium rare meat and prosciutto and cheese rind and liver-based delicacies. 

And the moving? Yes, it’s fun the first few times you feel it. It’s also good later on as evidence the baby’s going strong. But with twins, let me tell you, it is constant. At least one of them is awake at all times. On multiple occasions, I’ve had to get up and walk around to put them to sleep because their agitation was becoming distracting. And… Oh, fuck it, I’ll just say it: it’s also very, very weird. Waking up in the middle of the night to a womb twin party makes you wonder whether that’s what it feels like to have a giant worm taking over your intestines. It is unsettling and a little bit scary, and I’mma be frank, I don’t love it.

Need I add no woman has a real way of medicating any of the unpleasantness? Many obstetricians, for example, prescribe narcotics for all sorts of pains with no actual knowledge of the effects of opioids on foetuses. Even paracetamol (sorry, Yanks, acetaminophen) is an unknown. Ibuprofen? Nope. And if you must endure rhinitis (whether caused by hay fever, as was my case, or pregnancy itself) and neti potting isn’t enough, you’re shit out of luck for at least six months of the nine. 

"Oh, c’mon, get over yourself," you’ll say. Fair point. Mild inconvenience. But everywhere you look, they describe pregnancy as this moment of grace in a woman’s life. They tell you about the "glow" (which, let’s be honest here, is a fleeting moment between the fourth and fifth month and only has to do with your fuller shape paired with the relative lack of physical discomfort). They tell you the anticipation of maternity is beautiful and natural and soft and a total high. The fact is, many of us buy that story (it’s also possible many of us forget all the annoyances at birth, I’ll have to get back to you). 

They don’t tell you pregnancy is a medical condition (and I can think of a few natural-is-better militants who would lynch me for saying it out loud). It isn’t an illness per se, but something that can swiftly devolve into a host of potentially life-threatening complications, no matter how well you seem to be doing. And is it any wonder, when you know how mind-blogglingly aggressive the human placenta is?

Also, I’m sorry, but how fucked up is it that if you don’t have access to all the nutrients you need, the baby will start helping itself on your existing resources? Take calcium, for example: your bundle of joy will literally eat your bones. Insufficient calcium intake during pregnancy is a major cause of osteoporosis later in life. Human embryos and foetuses are not like parasites. They are parasites.

Even if pregnancy goes well, and no matter what they try to sell you about orgasmic births, labour can turn into a complete shit show. First-time mothers, especially, are susceptible. I won’t even mention the physical sequelae. Postpartum PTSD is very real and, by this reproductive psychologist's admission, woefully understudied. Postpartum anything, really, is understudied, misunderstood, and rampant.  

Listen, I’m lucky. Until now, my body’s been ever so cooperative. I also have the obscene luxury of working from home. We live in the 21st century, where the overwhelming majority of us is able (and hopefully willing, don’t laugh, it’s not a given) to rely on the safety of medicine and get through, unharmed, high-risk gestations and births. I know I’ll be in the very best hands NYC can offer when the moment comes. 

This is sincere. Every day, I find myself hoping to give birth to healthy children and that we will have a chance to raise them into strong, upstanding adults. I don’t want to imagine the heartache a loss would trigger, because it would be awful and I have no idea how we would recover from something like that.

Yet I wish I’d known. I wish someone had been straight with me about the sausage baby-making. Lack of control over one’s body is something most of us (men and women who don’t have children) will not experience until either a serious illness or old age takes over. Pregnancy gives you a taste of it (to varying degrees, of course).

So I need to document this so as not to forget. You, my friends, must realise:

  • The expectation that pregnant women should be ecstatic and never complain, even when the child is desired, is both aberrant and abhorrent (and I am not alone there, as shown by this video on the myth of the happy gestator, sent to me by my dear Duyen).
  • Pregnancy is so glorified and its risks so underestimated that stuff like this still happens. In the United States. In 2014.
  • Knowing now, in my flesh, what it takes to make a human (or two), I understand it is nothing short of criminal to deny access to safe abortions and contraception to women everywhere. To all the smug ignoramuses out there: birth control is health care

Pregnancy does a number on you, on your body. No matter what, it is really quite disgusting. Even in the very best, happiest of cases, and with all the medical support, it brings a woman a step closer to invalidity and death. To pretend this isn’t true, to paint an idyllic picture of gestation and what it entails, is to do us all a disservice. 

TL;DR —> pregnancy is really not that great and we need to cut the bullshit. 

— From NYC.

August 4, 2014
jasonpermenter:

So I guess we’re at this stage now?

Not even a little bit embarrassed.
— From NYC.

jasonpermenter:

So I guess we’re at this stage now?

Not even a little bit embarrassed.

— From NYC.

July 25, 2014
cloudya:

My dad was arrested a few months ago.
That’s hard to say. It’s even harder to believe.
Out of the blue, some cops showed up at my dad’s door and told him someone had accused him of theft and assault. My dad was locked up. He was subjected to a full body search and put in a jail cell. He had to spend the night there while my family scrambled to make bail.
But here’s the thing: my dad was working at the time of the alleged crime. He’s a delivery person for a pharmaceutical company. He has his clients’ signatures and paperwork, as well as their verbal confirmations that they saw him, as evidence to back him up. He has his cell phone triangulation data which puts him nowhere near the alleged victim. Moreover, my dad is not a criminal. He’s not violent. He’s 65 years old. He’s a freaking vegan.
None of this matters. All you need in order to be arrested is an accusation. The police didn’t check my dad’s whereabouts or look into the feasibility of the accuser’s story. They didn’t care. The reality of the justice system is that you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent.
And good luck with that because it’s going to cost you.  Bail fees, attorney fees, court fees – my dad has had to deal with all of them. And then, to make matters worse, his company fired him because he now has an arrest record.
What about the accuser?  It has since surfaced that he’s acquainted with of one of the men on my dad’s delivery route. This man was angry because my dad refused to leave deliveries on without obtaining a signature. My dad refused to do this because it’s against the law. He is required to get a signature. So this man concocted a way to teach my dad a lesson. He supplied his friend with my dad’s name and description, and he got him to tell a lie. A lie that has cost my dad his job, his savings, and his pride. A lie that is still hanging over him as court dates get pushed back and back and back.
The evidence is with my dad.  His case is open and shut. He is innocent. Unfortunately, prosecutors keep asking for and receiving more time to prepare. This has now dragged on for over 7 months. Until he gets his hearing, my dad is unable to work. He has to pay his lawyer’s retainer. He has to pay the mortgage. He has to make ends meet.
My dad has paid over $14,000 in legal fees. Now he’s unemployed and still owes upwards of $7500. My brother and I have given him everything we have. And still, the costs keep piling up. We are drowning.
I’ve started a fund to raise money for my dad. If you can donate just one dollar or two, it would help us out so much. If you can’t, please consider reblogging? Anything you can do – anything at all – would be incredibly appreciated.
The truth is that this isn’t the kind of thing you want to share with the world.  I don’t want to stand, hat-in-hand, before my friends and say, “help me.” But I have to. For my dad, who taught me that we do whatever we can to help the ones we love. He has always, always fought for me. So it’s my turn to fight for him.

If they ever ask you why no one should trust law enforcement in America (and why arrest records are completely bogus), this is why. Let’s help this man out. 
— From NYC.

cloudya:

My dad was arrested a few months ago.

That’s hard to say. It’s even harder to believe.

Out of the blue, some cops showed up at my dad’s door and told him someone had accused him of theft and assault. My dad was locked up. He was subjected to a full body search and put in a jail cell. He had to spend the night there while my family scrambled to make bail.

But here’s the thing: my dad was working at the time of the alleged crime. He’s a delivery person for a pharmaceutical company. He has his clients’ signatures and paperwork, as well as their verbal confirmations that they saw him, as evidence to back him up. He has his cell phone triangulation data which puts him nowhere near the alleged victim. Moreover, my dad is not a criminal. He’s not violent. He’s 65 years old. He’s a freaking vegan.

None of this matters. All you need in order to be arrested is an accusation. The police didn’t check my dad’s whereabouts or look into the feasibility of the accuser’s story. They didn’t care. The reality of the justice system is that you are guilty until you can prove yourself innocent.

And good luck with that because it’s going to cost you.  Bail fees, attorney fees, court fees – my dad has had to deal with all of them. And then, to make matters worse, his company fired him because he now has an arrest record.

What about the accuser?  It has since surfaced that he’s acquainted with of one of the men on my dad’s delivery route. This man was angry because my dad refused to leave deliveries on without obtaining a signature. My dad refused to do this because it’s against the law. He is required to get a signature. So this man concocted a way to teach my dad a lesson. He supplied his friend with my dad’s name and description, and he got him to tell a lie. A lie that has cost my dad his job, his savings, and his pride. A lie that is still hanging over him as court dates get pushed back and back and back.

The evidence is with my dad.  His case is open and shut. He is innocent. Unfortunately, prosecutors keep asking for and receiving more time to prepare. This has now dragged on for over 7 months. Until he gets his hearing, my dad is unable to work. He has to pay his lawyer’s retainer. He has to pay the mortgage. He has to make ends meet.

My dad has paid over $14,000 in legal fees. Now he’s unemployed and still owes upwards of $7500. My brother and I have given him everything we have. And still, the costs keep piling up. We are drowning.

I’ve started a fund to raise money for my dad. If you can donate just one dollar or two, it would help us out so much. If you can’t, please consider reblogging? Anything you can do – anything at all – would be incredibly appreciated.

The truth is that this isn’t the kind of thing you want to share with the world.  I don’t want to stand, hat-in-hand, before my friends and say, “help me.” But I have to. For my dad, who taught me that we do whatever we can to help the ones we love. He has always, always fought for me. So it’s my turn to fight for him.

If they ever ask you why no one should trust law enforcement in America (and why arrest records are completely bogus), this is why. Let’s help this man out. 

— From NYC.

(via lnthefade)

July 21, 2014

The RATP, public transports for Paris, launched this campaign to teach people how to behave. 

Some of these seem obvious, but given our experience in NYC and SF (+Madrid, Brussels, yes, Paris, and other places), we know they’re not a luxury.

See, for example, the tortoise who keeps his backpack on his shoulders instead of placing it against his legs (I’m looking at you, tourists), or the lovebirds, who stand side-by-side on the escalator. Or the hen, who speaks loudly on her telephone. The warthog, who eats stinky food and leaves a mess, and the elephants, who don’t let passengers off the train. I’m not including the koalas, who don’t fold their prams when there is more than one pram in the same space.

There are some missing, of course, like the pole hogs, who will hug a pole instead of holding it with one hand and standing at a distance to let others reach for it. 

I wish more cities with public transports launched similar campaigns. Lord knows we need them.

— From NYC. 

July 18, 2014
laughingsquid:

Artist Creates ‘Bump Paintings’ on the Bellies of Pregnant Women

No.
— From NYC.

laughingsquid:

Artist Creates ‘Bump Paintings’ on the Bellies of Pregnant Women

No.

— From NYC.

June 22, 2014
Imagine you are a news editor. A global terrorist group involved in fighting in Syria and Iraq sends you a recording whose contents would put them in jail were they in your country. Do you publish it or not? It’s a big question that I think centers on the definition of “public interest” as much as coverage of Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. It also goes back to 2006, when Al-Qaida and Osama bin Laden repeatedly sent recordings to Al Jazeera, which then dutifully broadcast it on their channel. I don’t like the fact that a terrorist organization can use (independent) media to make their claims and messages heard widely. Today, youtube and twitter mean they don’t even need the mainstream press to pick up their words. Social media does that job.

Yet, on Saturday, many British newspapers, TV and radio stations lead with a story about a youtube video that shows young British muslims in the Middle East calling for others to join them in the fight against infidels with the British government racing to take down the video before it causes any harm. To me, the fact that extremists would record such a video is not a surprise and therefore not news. Why British media decided to put it on their front pages is beyond me. What makes it worse is the quality of the coverage. “Militants in Iraq show they can run a sophisticated social media campaign” – No, really? They’re not idiots that live in the Stone Age? “Politicians and religious leaders in Britain warn young people not to join the conflict” – yeah, that’s going to make them change their mind. If Cameron says I shouldn’t fight, I won’t.

The coverage fails to ask the really important questions: what makes young muslims in Britain think that this is their war to fight?

Imagine you are a news editor. A global terrorist group involved in fighting in Syria and Iraq sends you a recording whose contents would put them in jail were they in your country. Do you publish it or not? It’s a big question that I think centers on the definition of “public interest” as much as coverage of Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky. It also goes back to 2006, when Al-Qaida and Osama bin Laden repeatedly sent recordings to Al Jazeera, which then dutifully broadcast it on their channel. I don’t like the fact that a terrorist organization can use (independent) media to make their claims and messages heard widely. Today, youtube and twitter mean they don’t even need the mainstream press to pick up their words. Social media does that job.

Yet, on Saturday, many British newspapers, TV and radio stations lead with a story about a youtube video that shows young British muslims in the Middle East calling for others to join them in the fight against infidels with the British government racing to take down the video before it causes any harm. To me, the fact that extremists would record such a video is not a surprise and therefore not news. Why British media decided to put it on their front pages is beyond me. What makes it worse is the quality of the coverage. “Militants in Iraq show they can run a sophisticated social media campaign” – No, really? They’re not idiots that live in the Stone Age? “Politicians and religious leaders in Britain warn young people not to join the conflict” – yeah, that’s going to make them change their mind. If Cameron says I shouldn’t fight, I won’t.

The coverage fails to ask the really important questions: what makes young muslims in Britain think that this is their war to fight?

June 18, 2014
proofmathisbeautiful:

Despite Mayer, Yahoo leadership overwhelmingly male
Chris Isidore
Yahoo, one of the most prominent Silicon Valley companies with a female CEO, still has an overwhelmingly male work force and leadership.
The company released its first diversity report late Tuesday and it showed that 62% of its global work force is male. But many of the women are in the lower-paying non-technical and non-leadership positions. The company said 85% of its technology staff is male, as is 77% of its leadership.

Hey, don’t blame Mayer. She did warn us she’s not a feminist, didn’t she.* 
— From NYC. 
*Backwards italics sarcasm.

proofmathisbeautiful:

Despite Mayer, Yahoo leadership overwhelmingly male

Yahoo, one of the most prominent Silicon Valley companies with a female CEO, still has an overwhelmingly male work force and leadership.

The company released its first diversity report late Tuesday and it showed that 62% of its global work force is male. But many of the women are in the lower-paying non-technical and non-leadership positions. The company said 85% of its technology staff is male, as is 77% of its leadership.

Hey, don’t blame Mayer. She did warn us she’s not a feminist, didn’t she.* 

— From NYC. 

*Backwards italics sarcasm.

June 16, 2014
"I’m quite enjoying how bad this game is. It’s utter nonsense. Nothing is happening. But it makes you appreciate how good every other match has been."

— Jacob Steinberg, on Iran vs. Nigeria (The Guardian)

(Source: girldetectivewatchesfootball)

June 16, 2014
What happens when the whole of the United States reads “The Secret.” 
Yes, Argentina said Argentina and Spain said Spain. But we know Argentina hates Brazil with a passion and would rather die than say “Brazil” first. And Spain, at least, is a plausible win (at least it was before Friday’s ass-kicking). 
— Thanks to Greg Minton, from NYC. 

What happens when the whole of the United States reads “The Secret.” 

Yes, Argentina said Argentina and Spain said Spain. But we know Argentina hates Brazil with a passion and would rather die than say “Brazil” first. And Spain, at least, is a plausible win (at least it was before Friday’s ass-kicking). 

— Thanks to Greg Minton, from NYC. 

June 13, 2014
This may be the first time my husband “faves” a joke I made in French. I am swooning.
— From NYC.

This may be the first time my husband “faves” a joke I made in French. I am swooning.

— From NYC.

June 10, 2014
Jason and I have had loads of questions about what kind of twins we’re having. Our answer is invariably “we don’t know.” And if they’re the same sex, we won’t know until they are born, possibly even after. 
I tweeted a full explanation as to why that is. Here it also is (with extra link goodness).
— From NYC.

Jason and I have had loads of questions about what kind of twins we’re having. Our answer is invariably “we don’t know.” And if they’re the same sex, we won’t know until they are born, possibly even after. 

I tweeted a full explanation as to why that is. Here it also is (with extra link goodness).

— From NYC.