While You Were Sleeping

March 20, 2012

Starbucks is trying to be more American in Britain and comedian Jon Holmes noticed it’s not really working:

“The corporate dark overlords of the high-streets, Starbucks, has launched this new initiative whereby they’re going to ask you your name every time you go in and buy what they optimistically describe as coffee.

This is an American idea of course being all friendly and welcoming. While it might work in the States they simply haven’t reckoned with their new target audience. I was in a Starbucks yesterday (…) when I hear the sound of rebellion. The barista was behind the counter and smiling, which was his first mistake.

“Hi! Welcome to Starbucks! What’s your name?’ said the barista brightly to a man in his 40s. The man replied “shove it up your ass, mate”. Did you know, I was warmed to my soul. The man’s comeback was of course a textbook British response to someone being nice to them but it wasn’t the wittiest that I heard.

The best one came when the increasingly desperate barista tried out the new policy again on the next man in the queue. When he force-smiled out the words “Hi! What’s your name?” A voice from the back of the queue went

“Don’t tell him, pike!”

— From London, via BBC radio 4 The Now Show.

12:47pm | URL: http://tmblr.co/Z9DOYyIHjjNV
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(Notes: 23)